11.05.12

Well Bob,

Here we are again then. I went to see The Last Waltz the other night, with your good self in it. Was very interested as hadn't realised it was a farewell to the road gig and I just left the road for a little while myself. They did sixteen years. Ive done 25.
Was relieved to hear Robbie Robertson say too many people died because of the road. Said its no life and looked away sad from the camera. Afterward I thought my God you must have a strong stomach. Strong heart. I imagine your Christianity is what drives you.
I had that driving me too on the road. I prayed a lot before gigs. And asked Holy Spirit let me be a small light with singing, so people would know there is a spirit. Had Jesus in my mind all through shows. standing behind me with his arms around me.
It worked too. But for me it's an energy I ought not tap into more than twice a week as its a very high energy and it's hard to come down. Also because I put so much emotion into singing. I do like the Stanislavski method. Am doing exactly what he taught actors. Sense memory an stuff. So between calling up all those emotions and also calling in the power of The Holy spirit I get very tired. And I can be tearful the next day. Lot of feelings. And music goes terribly deep into me and keeps me awake playing away inside me.
I wonder sometimes should I try to be less emotionally or spiritually engaged when singing. Divorce myself more from feelings or spirit. But I couldn't sing right if I did that and I wouldn't be being me. And the people who like my songs n stuff would be like.. " what the fuck's happened to Sinead? She on massive doses of lithium? "
I took lithium when first diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD. Had to stop. Couldn't feel anything so couldn't sing! Couldn't access one emotion for a million quid.
Gonna go back into singing and shows but no more than 2 a week. And no more than 2 and a half days away from home in any week. Except if a far country then seven days out of a month.
There's always this thing in 'rock and pop' that like, you put out a record and you have to do ALL promo NOW, rather than slowly gently work the record over say 18 months. So all you get presented with is one option. The old model. Which is worse now because no one is buying records. So the only way anyone in the music industry is making money is by having artists tour. Hard when you 45 and you have two serious medical conditions and you're a single mother of 4 children, 3 of whom are still at home.
Wish someone would clamp down on illegal getting of records. People don't realise it drives us from our children and sends us on the road too much so that we end up mad, or alcoholics, or junkies, or dead, as Robbie Robertson pointed out. Our children don't have us as they should. Shouldn't be that people don't pay for records. Consequences are very painful. I blame record companies though because they ripped the audiences off for so many years. But people don't realise the artists were getting ripped off too.
For example, when Tracy Chapman had her massive first album out she was earning only 7% of what the record generated and she would have been paying all recording, promotion and video costs and touring costs out of that. Record companies had lion's share of everyone, even the audience.
The so called 'Highest paid entertainer in the world' was Michael Jackson. 18 % is what he was earning. Again, he would have been responsible for all his costs. 18% is way less than respectful of such an artist. And it's quite yucky that he's supposed to have been grateful.
Not least when you consider the cost he paid was his life.. Even before his body died. Show biz stole his life and murdered his spirit with mockery and abuse. Poor thing. Prostituted.
When I signed my deal it was for 5000 quid a year advance and 7 %. That's what I was on for first album and it was re negotiated on success of 2 nd album to 12% which is what I stayed one until my Irish traditional songs album. Then I started to licence records for 50/50 deals which is what a lot of people seem to do now.
But people are broke and they take records illegally. I wish prices could come down or something so everyone could win, because we're forced out on the road too much and that's killing. Eventually all you will have on the road is young artists. And they will die from drugs or drink.. Or be driven mad.
Anyway.. I will be going back to work, but gently and slowly. Been getting better. Brick by brick. Still very tired. Is slow process. Ran me body and spirit into ground. Can barely even listen to music. Spirit needs to sleep and music wakes it up. But am managing Dr John's 'Such A Night' from the last waltz. Is so brilliant it's SICK!
Makes me very excited about singing still and have tonnes of ideas for songs. My friend Kemar McGregor from Jamaica, who I made a song with recently called How About I Be Me? ( the title of which I used for recent album, but was recorded too late to make it onto album)Is coming over to Ireland soon and we are gonna make a recording studio in the cabin at the bottom of my garden and 'rasta-fy ' the place ( paint red yellow and green) and make lots of rasta style records. And lovers rock reggae. He has tonnes of lovers rock songs already written completely. Then he has tonnes of rasta backing tracks with no melody or lyrics yet so I'm gonna write those.
Best thing about Jamaica ( apart from Jamaicans, who are the most incredible people on earth) Is you make a record and it's out two days later! Old school. So frustrating outside Jamaica you have to give it to companies like 6 months at least before they get it together to put it out.
Really excited about the Curtis Mayfield tribute show in The Lincoln Centre in New York on July 20th. Am gonna be doing 'Billy Jack' and 'Jesus'. That's the best song about Jesus ever written ( sorry Bob! Yours are most beautiful also) in my opinion. We gonna do them same key and exactly like Curtis' versions note for note each instrument.
Am addicted to the album they are on. It's called There's No Place Like America Today. If I put it on I can't stop listening for weeks. And the high hat on Billy Jack won't get out of my mind even when I'm sleeping. Will keep me awake for days. Thats a bipolar thing. Its only the high hat I will hear too. Very strange. Curtis always used staggering drummers. Staggering every player.. But I have a 'thing' about drums.
I came off tour cus I was very sick. And had a bad reaction to a medication I'd been given. In the madness created by the medication I said I never wanna make music again. But I deeply do. Just have to be careful how it's promoted and toured.
Also wanna make more music for the spiritual music arena. Sometimes think if you dedicate yourself as an artist, to the Holy Spirit, your creativity becomes allergic to arenas that have no spirituality. Hard to work there. Chemical problem. Oil and water. Square peg, round hole. I dunno. But I trust The Boss, as I call Holy Spirit. So it will all fall into place in ways where everyone can win.
Do you find yourself allergic to music business? I think a lot of artists do. Cus it's kind of been high jacked. When I saw The Last Waltz I was really struck that everyone on stage was an ARTIST. But artists have been pushed into the backgrounds now for the larger part. It's all about celebrity now. The young people just wanna be famous. Pop Idol etc, all those shows.. Done enormous damage to music as an art. And to musical artists.
It's all about singles now. All over produced and about nothing inspiring or uplifting. No consciousness. Irish artists for example, don't get involved in Irish issues really, and we had a great tradition of artists being very involved in shaping Irish society. It's been beaten out of musicians.
And it used to be albums. And you'd long for them. I remember waiting in agony for your Infidels, which is my favourite of your albums. And my whole school waiting for me to get it, so they could borrow it. Including my English teacher who was first to beg me. And one would never listen to just the odd song. It was a story the sequencing of an album. You couldn't get the story right if you didn't listen from top to bottom and study every word and bended note. Not enough artists any more. Well there are, but they are not pushed in the world of top forty, for the most part.
My therapist, who is a Christian, says music business was high jacked because in 70s it became ( because of most of the people on stage at The Last Waltz, amongst legendary others ) so spiritualised it was dangerous. He says God doesn't rule this world. Yet. Says someone else does, who doesn't like light. Who knows? But it's certainly true music is a very powerful light. When employed properly. Lee Perry says music is the Holy Spirit. I feel the same.
Anyway Bob I hope you are doing ok. Hope you come and play a small venue in Ireland and I can do some songs with you.. You never know. I promise to behave myself. I'm very happily married. So you needn't be afraid. : )

May God bless and keep you always

Sinead

Sinead can be found at Twitter under @sineadoconnor16

KEEP WATCHING THIS SPACE